Jeremy had thought the apartment a steal at $300 a month. Of course, at that time he had not known about the portal to hell in the breakfast nook. The kitchen was spacious, the counters were plentiful and the cabinets had just enough spring to close themselves without slamming. The east wall opened up into a large, windowed nook designed for sitting and reading the paper and eating croissants. The bench in-between the table and the windows was lightly cushioned and irresistibly comfortable. The sun hit the back of whoever sat there, warming and relaxing them. The seat on the end of the window bench, however, was almost uncomfortably warm, what with the portal to hell right under the seat.
Morning guests to Jeremy's apartment were especially appreciative of the breakfast nook and the sunny view of the park it provided. They would sit back casually, one arm slung over the back of the cushion, the other holding a cup of coffee, and comment on how pleasant everything was. That is until the portal to hell belched out a cloud of noxious sulfur causing everyone to look around uncomfortably. Occasionally a guest's keys or change would slip from their pocket and they would reach between the cushions, to feel for the lost item. "Be careful!" Jeremy would say, "It's hot under there!"
Jeremy's onetime girlfriend was the first person to accidentally fall through the portal to hell to her presumable death. She had been standing on the bench checking the ceiling for a portal to heaven when she slipped between the cushions and disappeared into hell. Jeremy witnessed this from the stove where he'd been whipping up some eggs for an omelet. "Damn you breakfast nook!" he had cried, "Damn you to hell!"